One of the most powerful skills anyone can develop is the ability to clearly ask for what they want. It’s a simple concept but often easier said than done. Many people hesitate to speak up due to fear of rejection, lack of clarity, or even the belief that asking might seem pushy. However, when done effectively, asking for what you want can open doors to new opportunities and help you achieve your goals.
Here’s a practical example of how asking for what you want can work in your favor.
The Story: Negotiating a Raise
Let’s take the case of Sarah, a mid-level software engineer who had been working at her company for three years. She was a diligent worker and had consistently delivered high-quality results. Over time, Sarah realized that her contributions were substantial, and her responsibilities had grown, but her salary had remained the same. She felt it was time for a raise but was nervous about approaching her manager.
Sarah decided to take a calculated approach:
- Evaluate the Situation: Sarah began by assessing her performance, responsibilities, and the value she brought to the company. She created a list of key accomplishments over the past few years, including successful projects she had led, the technical solutions she implemented, and the overall impact on the team’s productivity.
- Do the Research: Before approaching her manager, Sarah researched the average salary for her role and experience level in the industry. She also considered factors like the company’s financial health and the average raise percentage employees received in similar roles.
- Timing Matters: Sarah chose a moment when she knew her manager would be more receptive. Rather than bringing it up during a stressful time or in the middle of a major project, she requested a meeting during a routine performance review. This allowed her to discuss her request in a calm and professional setting.
- Clear and Direct Ask: During the meeting, Sarah was clear and direct. She didn’t beat around the bush but confidently explained her reasoning. She presented her achievements, the research she had done on industry standards, and explained why she believed a salary adjustment was appropriate. She wasn’t demanding, but instead framed it as a discussion about aligning her compensation with her contributions.
- Collaborative Approach: Rather than making it a “yes” or “no” question, Sarah approached it as a conversation. She was open to feedback and willing to discuss what steps she could take to meet the criteria for a raise if the timing wasn’t right.
The Result
Sarah’s manager was impressed by her preparation and professionalism. Though he hadn’t initially planned on making salary adjustments at that time, Sarah’s request made him reconsider. After consulting with HR and reviewing her performance, Sarah was granted a raise, along with more opportunities for leadership roles in the team.
Why This Worked
- Preparation: Sarah’s well-researched approach showed she wasn’t asking for a raise on a whim. She had taken the time to understand her own value and the context of the industry.
- Clarity: She didn’t leave her request vague. Being clear about what she wanted helped make it easier for her manager to respond positively.
- Confidence: Sarah’s confidence in her abilities and contributions helped her manager see her as a valuable asset deserving of recognition.
- Flexibility: By approaching the conversation with an open mind, Sarah created space for a positive dialogue. She didn’t make demands but engaged in a constructive conversation.
The key takeaway? Don’t shy away from advocating for yourself. Whether it’s a raise, a new opportunity, or a different kind of support, asking directly and thoughtfully is a powerful tool that can lead to significant outcomes. The worst that can happen is a “no,” but with the right approach, you’re more likely to hear “yes.”
Lessons Learned
Whether you’re asking for a raise, a promotion, or simply requesting something important to you, it’s essential to:
- Be clear about what you want.
- Do your homework to back up your request.
- Approach the conversation with confidence and professionalism.
- Be open to feedback and willing to discuss the next steps.
When you combine preparation with clear communication, asking for what you want doesn’t have to feel like a risk—it becomes a step toward achieving your goals.